This place is getting toxic, levity.....

[malleefarmer]

Put yehhhr best Irish accent on

Paddy says to mick, hey mick I’m thinking about gitten a dog one of those Labrador that fart a lot.

Mick geez paddy don’t be so bleeding stewpid have seen how many of the owners go fooking blind

[woodland]

The Mrs and I are lying in bed with no cow, chicken, or anything between us.😉

Me. (I silently let a a stinky one rip)

Wife. (A few seconds later) Ewwww!!!!! What did you do that for?

Me. It’s a Covid test.

Wife. Covid test? What are you talking about?

Me. Apparently losing your sense of smell is one of the symptoms apparently. I was just making sure you’re healthy. That’s all.


Now it’s our inside joke.........

[sumdumguy]

Hark, “I smell a meadowlark”.

[fjlip]

Accurate..

[fjlip]

Old?

[Guest]

thanks farma , i needed that !!
off to shovel snow, lucky old mallee, wished i was there

[AlbertaFarmer5]

This one is a bit dated:

A guy goes into a bar in Edmonton where there is a robot bartender. The robot says, "What will you have? The guy replies, "Whiskey."
... The robot brings back his drink and asks, "What's your IQ?"
The guy say, "168."
The robot continues to talk about physics, space exploration, and medical technology.

After the guy leaves and the more he thinks about it, the more curious he gets, so he decides to go back.
The robot asks, "What's your drink?"
The guy answers, "Whiskey."
The robot returns with his drink and asks, "What's your IQ?"
The man replies, "100."
The robot talks about Nascar, Budweiser, the Eskimos, and Oilers.
The man finishes his drink, leaves, but is so interested in his "experiment" that he decides to try again.
He enters the bar and, as usual, the robot asks him what he want to drink.
The man replies, "Whiskey."
The robot brings the drink and asks, "What's your IQ?"
The man answers, "50."

The robot leans in real close and asks,
"So . . . are . . . you people . . . still happy . . . with the NDP?

[malleefarmer]

A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and calls a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination. The guy doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will, instead, lay down and wallow in the grass when they are pregnant. The Man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means
he has to impregnate the sheep. So, he loads the sheep into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.

Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the truck again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed.

Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day serving the sheep and, upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the sheep. He asks his wife to look
out and tell him if the sheep are lying in the grass. "No," she says, "they're all in the truck and one of
them's honking the horn."

[Guest]

[ATTACH]6994[/ATTACH]

Reminds me of Agriville....eveyone isn't understanding each other.

god damn , that is funny , right there

[helmsdale]