Test Some covid humour been meaning to post for months Test

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Some covid humour been meaning to post for months

Landdownunder's Avatar Jul 12, 2022 | 19:04 1 Greetings from the year 2024, where Covid variants ranging from the mildly distracting to the deadly continue to demand our attention. We’ve long since run out of Ancient Greek letters, so thinking up names for them has been increasingly a challenge.

For a while we followed the old hurricane principle and named variants after women (you will recall Covids Carol, Coral and Clementine). This was rightly branded misogynistic and male names were added – understandably angering the LGBT+ community. Then there was a flurry of gender-neutral names, but unlike the virus they failed to catch on.

Next, Covid variants were seen as marketing opportunities, with naming rights auctioned off. Both Covid Coke and Covid Pepsi were popular – particularly as their death rates were quite low – whereas Covid Philip Morris, invariably fatal, attracted little enthusiasm (ironically it would take the life of its wildly successful CEO).

Perhaps surprisingly this did not prevent various billionaires from taking part in the bidding wars. While the doddery Warren Buffett declined to enter the fray, others jumped at the chance. Hence such out-of-this-world Covids as Covid Musk (also Covid Elon and Covid Tesla), Covid Branson and Covid Bezos. A bid by the recently re-elected President Trump was rejected because of his poor record in paying bills. POTUS has challenged the decision, insisting Covid Trump was robbed.

In 2024 we have learned to live with Covid (if we manage to avoid death). Thus the booster business is also booming. Up-to-date jabbing is required on an almost weekly basis, leaving the arms pocked with needle marks. We are jab junkies! Many people now have jabs just for the fun of it. We have jab parties, jab jamborees and jab festivals, all requiring not merely masks but sacks over the head.

In the past the needles were quietly disposed of by the doctor or chemist who did the jabbing. Now people insist on keeping them. They have become collectibles in the same way that we once collected stamps or footy cards. Some needles – those used against the deadliest strains, for example – are seen as particularly desirable and fetch big prices on eBay. My own collection, displayed in a lovely glass-fronted cabinet, includes a coveted Covid Philip Morris needle and two Covid Zuckerbergs. Unfortunately the market is being flooded with fake needles so make sure any purchase you make has a good provenance.

Alternately you may prefer to collect needles that have jabbed celebrities. I have two Kardashians, a Scott Morrison (the PM of Australia prior to Dutton) and a full set of Australian Test cricketers. Well, an almost full set. As you know two team members refused the jab and are now deceased.

People way back in 2022 would hardly recognise the world we live in today. Who would have thought the pandemic would still be afflicting the entire planet? That a respirator would become such a popular birthday present? That facial recognition technology would become obsolete? That Covid Musk would infect people on Elon’s space flights, or that scores of cruise ships would be scuppered in the Pacific’s Mariana Trench, the deepest spot on Earth, or in the shallows to provide havens for fish now the Great Barrier Grief has carked it?

Sorry – have to leave it for now. Going off to a jab party. Reply With Quote