Suicide In The Farm Community

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Suicide In The Farm Community

Nov 3, 2016 | 12:19 1 Dear Agrivillers,

Committing suicide remains an unspoken conversation in most discussions. Even death has become an obsolete word. "Stella passed". "Bert is not with us anymore".

We are uncomfortable with death, and when we compound that discomfort with dreading our own death, it's not surprising we avoid speaking about suicide.

But it's real.

From a practical point of view, a family needs immediate help just to get by when suicide happens.

Cotton committed suicide in their farm home on November 1. The family are not allowed into the house for awhile. Nor will they be able to bear living in the house again.

I never met Cott in person, we always planned to but never got around to it, but even so, just as with you, he influenced me, he crept into my thinking, he reached out to me. To us.

I didn't, we didn't, know how to hear what he wanted us to hear, needed us to hear, did we? I listened but I didn't hear his most important message.

We cannot change what is done.

So today, I decided I've learned enough about life to know his wife Michelle will need some help, without asking, just to get the telephone bill paid. To pay for haircuts. Harvest has been hell.

You know I'm a practical woman. If each of us chipped in $20.00, crowdfunding, instead of sending flowers, your sum of remembrance will pay for milk and eggs and bread.

Farmers have stressful clouds hovering above them.

Larry Weber, John Kotylak and I believe that we can choose to do something concrete.

To talk about suicide. To listen. To reach out. To be practical. To be kind.

We hope you will too.

Pars and Larry and John
Last edited by parsley; Nov 3, 2016 at 13:33.
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Nov 3, 2016 | 12:25 2 Oh my god. That is terrible Reply With Quote
Nov 3, 2016 | 12:34 3 [URL="https://fundrazr.com/f1BBb7[/URL]

With the never ending harvest of 2016, farmers in western Canada have had heart ache, but not as much as this family will be experiencing at this moment.

Many people were moved by Chad's tenacity, passion and willingness to share his thoughts and time on a public forum and social media. This is our opportunity to give back.

The fundraising page will stay open for 30 days.
Last edited by LWeber; Nov 3, 2016 at 12:59.
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Nov 3, 2016 | 12:49 4 Thank you pars and Larry for your efforts and comments. This is such a trajedy for those left behind. No words can can ease the anguish for those left behind and my heart aches for cottons family. I can only hope others take to heart the advice that others have so often posted. ITS JUST A FARM. No situation is so bad that ending your life will make it better. Even this shi!!y f^cked up fall will eventually be behind us. No one can ever put themselves in another's shoes but please don't e afraid to ask for help. Be safe out there and remember those who love you and depend on you. Tears in my eyes and loss of words. Reply With Quote
Klause's Avatar Nov 3, 2016 | 12:58 5 https://fundrazr.com/f1BBb7 Reply With Quote
Nov 3, 2016 | 13:02 6 Thanks so much Larry, for setting up the fundraising page. Pars Reply With Quote
Nov 3, 2016 | 13:24 7 Chad Crane
(1974 - 2016)


Chad was predeceased by his grandparents, George and Alicia Crane and aunt, Darlene Crane.

Chad is survived by his wife, Michelle Crane of Weyburn, SK and their children, Cooper, Max and Livia.

His mother, Kelly Crane of Weyburn, SK; brother, Matthew (Kristen) Crane and their children, Hugo and Mara; father and mother in law, Ron and Carol Irvine of Yellow Grass, SK; sister in law, Tanya (John) Hulbert of Weyburn, SK and their children, Emma, Andrew, Hanna and Jeana; brother in law, Jaymon Irvine of Regina, SK as well as aunts, uncles, other relatives and friends, also survive him.

The funeral is private.

Donations in memory of Chad may be made to the "Crane Children Trust Fund" c/o Weyburn Credit Union.

Or

"Just A Bunch of Farmers Helping a Farmer" fundraiser at :

e[URL="https://fundrazr.com/f1BBb7[/URL] Reply With Quote
Nov 3, 2016 | 13:25 8 We all care and feel terrible that we never recognized the signs of despair. We will gladly support this cause. That poor family, loving wife and 3 little girls, I believe - there are no words that can quantify our feelings of grief at this time. I hope no one within our family and Agriville family is ashamed to reach out for help. We are here for each other, we can help each other through because God put us here. Parsley and Larry, Thank you for caring so much. Reply With Quote
Nov 3, 2016 | 13:26 9 Done. Reply With Quote
Nov 3, 2016 | 13:33 10 Done, thanks to Larry and Pars for putting this together. Reply With Quote
Nov 3, 2016 | 13:45 11 Most Agrivillers are not paupers. I think at least one hundred dollars would be more appropriate. And if you are flush - give more. The cause couldn't be more important. Reply With Quote
SASKFARMER's Avatar Nov 3, 2016 | 13:53 12 I agree rock pile but didn't want to say it! Thanks Reply With Quote
Nov 3, 2016 | 14:35 13
Quote Originally Posted by SASKFARMER View Post
I agree rock pile but didn't want to say it! Thanks
My first thought also unless you are having trouble feeding your own. but not a time to pinch pennies Reply With Quote
Nov 3, 2016 | 14:40 14 re chad parsely or sask my enlighten me its my understanding he farmed and lived on original crane farm meaning his grandfather i presume started it or am i wrong? Maybe even great grandfather? Reply With Quote
Nov 3, 2016 | 14:44 15 weird was the anniversary of my next door neighbours passing of his 17 yr old son same day 3 years ago same cause. Reply With Quote
fjlip's Avatar Nov 3, 2016 | 15:20 16 Now a bigger shock to hear, but many have issues, some are not able to cope.
Parsley, unless i am not reading it correctly, was he survived or pre deceased by his father?
No mention, or is there a deeper story? Reply With Quote
farmaholic's Avatar Nov 3, 2016 | 15:53 17 Depression and mental illness can be a lonely silent battle!!!

If someone chooses suicide, sometimes there is nothing that could have been said or done.

Look for signs...

There is tonnes of legitimate information on the web

There are many symptoms when depression and mental illness are the "CAUSE"

"LET'S TALK" campaign is running for a reason! Public awareness, remove the stigma, it's not taboo!

It's a disease like any other..... and you just don't "snap out of it" like some people may tell you or think!

TAKE CARE, damn it...... TAKE CARE!!!!!

Please remember, if you choose suicide your struggle may be over but the pain and agony of those left behind lingers a long time...
Last edited by farmaholic; Nov 3, 2016 at 16:11.
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Nov 3, 2016 | 15:53 18 http://obits.dignitymemorial.com/dig...71&mid=7150811 Reply With Quote
Nov 3, 2016 | 18:24 19 As a fellow producer with three young children, I could not imagine what the family is going through. Very sad situation but understand that is does happen and we need to be aware of the signs to prevent this. As others said and specifically SF3, it is only a crop or farm and not worth taking your life. I feel terrible for his wife and children.
Keep on farming CP where ever you are at this moment!!! Rest in Peace with no more worries. Reply With Quote
Nov 3, 2016 | 19:24 20 I wanted to update for you, how a family tries to cope.

Michelle's sister, Tanya, gives strength to the family and so much appreciates what you are doing, and saying. I sent them the link to Agriviille, and they read your posts.

Tanya just sent me this:

" yesterday was their middle child Max's birthday so we celebrated by going bowling
Michelle did her best to put on a happy face for his birthday but today is Chads birthday and everyone is having a very hard day.

We are going through family pictures tonight with the kids and making poster boards for each of the kids of pictures of them and their dad to set at the funeral tomorrow - we are just doing a private family ceremony as chad never wanted a funeral but Michelle feels the kids need it."

This is very difficult for me to post, but they bring strength to all of us, don't they.

As you post your goodbyes, Agrivillers, know that your support is important. It helps them cope with the death of someone they love. Tanya says this about your messages :

"I'm trying to see if we can print it to add to a memory book for the kids"

"please send thanks from our families"

Hug your family tonight. Pars. Reply With Quote
Nov 3, 2016 | 19:30 21 Thank you, Joe, and your Agriville staff for your continuing website, and your eve-continuing support of the farming community. I have been lax in thanking you recently. Pars. Reply With Quote
Nov 3, 2016 | 19:39 22 It's sad to hear of this even with someone you've never met. My dad's best friend took his own life a year and a half ago and it's still tough to drive past his place every time I go to town. Things have been tough here for the last two years but as I am enjoying bath time with my two little ones I couldn't imagine leaving them and my wife behind. Some things we will never understand why..... Reply With Quote
Nov 3, 2016 | 19:44 23 I'm a new farmer not so far from Weyburn. I have to say it's not an easy career. I've got lots of help from agriville community. Thank you everyone for your posts.
My best wish to Chad's family. Reply With Quote
Nov 3, 2016 | 19:52 24 Very nice idea Carol, Larry and John.

Not sure if you are aware or not but they take 5 - 7.9% in the crowd funding site.

Another option is you can also make donations at the Weyburn Credit Union. Crane Children trust fund.

Mailing address for the Weyburn Credit Union is 205 Coteau avenue, Weyburn, sk S4H 0G5. You can mail a check for the trust fund.

Mark Reply With Quote
Nov 3, 2016 | 19:53 25 The vale has been lifted and we can see clearly now. Sadly, some times we fail to see what is right in front of us until it's to late. I often misunderstood cotton and what he was trying to say mainly because of the way he presented it. I've never found profanity or arrogance a desiresble trait in those that were trying to share their knowledge. Though my own family members battle with chronic depression and attempts to take his own life,I understand now what was a shrouded cry for help and deeply regret that it wasnt recognized for what it was. My deepest sympathies to his family, live life,stay strong and may Our Friend rest in peace. God bless. Reply With Quote
Nov 3, 2016 | 20:19 26 From: Weber
Sent: November 3, 2016 8:09 PM
To: 'cranefarm@
Cc: Carol Husband; John Kotylak
Subject: My deepest condolences:

Dear Michelle:

Although we have never met, nor had Chad and I, words cannot express the loss I feel for you and your family.

We started a fund raising page for you and the kids this afternoon. As of 8:00 PM this evening there is $3,070.00 in it and it will remain open for 30 days.
We set a goal of $10,000.00
While it is not the most cost effective manner of generating funds, it is the quickest and most efficient.

The link is listed below:

https://fundrazr.com/f1BBb7

When you are ready, please email me and I will walk you through registering so you can transfer the money to your account.
I will give you the password on the phone just to make sure it is secure.

Keep your head up as well as possible for the kids and know that you have many that are thinking of you.

Sincerely,
Larry Weber Reply With Quote
Nov 3, 2016 | 20:28 27 Suicide is never the answer. The pain that it leaves behind for those that you love and those that loved you lasts decades. It is your family left behind that suffers most.

I am sure that if Cotton would have reached out to anyone here they would of done anything possible to help. It is all too common that nothing is ever said to those around and before you know it, it is too late to help.

I will be praying for Chads beautiful wife and children. They will come through this but it will take much time to heal. Hopefully neighbors nearby have some energy left to help clean up what is left of harvest if any and the family support is strong.

Good night Cotton, Michelle and kids! You have many people across Canada and the even the world thinking of you, supporting you and praying for you. Reply With Quote
Nov 3, 2016 | 20:41 28 Thank you for your comments Mark

1. "Not sure if you are aware or not but they take 5 - 7.9% in the crowd funding site." Yes we are. This provides a service. The venue is international. It also allows people to pay online.

2. "Another option is you can also make donations at the Weyburn Credit Union. Crane Children trust fund. "


You will note that Boarderbloke already previously posted the option you listed:
"BOARDERBLOKE 18
NOV 3, 2016 15:53
http://obits.dignitymemorial.com/dig...71&mid=715081

3. Note the differentiation: The fundraising Larry set up provides IMMEDIATE money for the family's immediate needs. Michelle can withdraw in a day or two. The Crane children's trust fund is a trust account.

Just so there is no confusion. Pars Reply With Quote
blackpowder's Avatar Nov 3, 2016 | 20:47 29 I sit and wonder how an anonymous internet poster has touched me at all.
I sit and ponder death yet again albeit in a different way.
I believed when my father died that it was a parents' job to show his children how.
I ruminate on the term 'mental illness' and know that it is a convenient catch all. Meaningless.
I sit in the bar and tell stories about all the 'counsellors' etc I've experienced.
I dont care what others think.
I want one person to see.
I would like for those who come after not to havta relearn it all.
I pray my children find someone as myself all through their life. Reply With Quote
Nov 3, 2016 | 20:58 30 I am largely a lurker yet feel real loss. I enjoyed Cottons posts and can't believe that I won't get to read them again. Prayers are with his wife and children. Reply With Quote